Ancient Mosswater

I've been tiptoeing myself in my new project, letting it reveal itself to me as I follow the current of my intuition.

I have been tiptoeing myself into the current of ancient Mosswater.
My new instagram.

A while ago I felt the need to retreat from Instagram because I didn’t want to leave my ‘clumsy’ healing journey on there anymore. Healing rarely looks good and more often than not it’s masked with layered and complex identity shifts and gnarly nooks and crannies creeping out to be seen and felt. I expressed myself on there throughout those shifts until even I didn’t know who I was anymore.

The plot had gotten lost and there was proof of it online.

I had to let go and enter silence.
I needed the absence of noise.
I didn’t want to stick my nose into other people’s lives anymore.
I unfollowed everyone and deleted everything.
Back to ground zero.

I was so close to erasing my account but I left that decision for when the impulse to destroy softened.

In that silence I connected more to my personal practice.
And within that practice I found a new connection to water.
The water that speaks to me from within my own body.
The water that remembers my ancestral and soul lineages.

Somewhere around the end of autumn last year I went on a search of reaching inside for my power. I was scared at first and I cried, kicked and screamed through it all.

Last year I lost a lot.
I grieved a child for nearly 1,5 years until I finally could let go.
About every 3 months new layers surfaced until the day came around again when I had gotten pregnant last year. My womb has been through a lot.

I lost the plot a few times.
I kept on grieving and hurting.

Then I realised my true power, my true essence, my hearts song, needed a blank slate so life ripped it all away from me, upon my own request. More than once my heart sung a sad song which caused a lot of beautiful changes but then my ego got stuck inside the threshold and humility finally saved the day.

My soul knows things that my head can’t fully wrap itself around sometimes and instead of letting good become even better, it often holds on to worst case scenario out of survival.

I learned so much.

Learning to love is a skill that needs to be developed with discernment and shaped with a sword of truth.

The line between ego and intuition sometimes blurs and that’s ok, we’re human after all. Without that friction we would not know the peace that comes after making the right choices.

But ancient Mosswater represents for me a holy sanctuary where I find peace. Any place where there is living water running and the stones and trees are covered with moss, I feel an ancient exhale returning myself to whats real.

It awakens my senses and it calls me into my sensitivity.
I want to listen closer, breathe slower, look around and really notice more detail, it makes me happy. Ancient places with moss and water are just so dreamy, it calls me with every fibre of my being.

Ancient is what I breathe, for some reason my creative channel accesses really old and faraway currents and those are hard to understand but deeply felt.

My art draws out of me symbols and prayers that heal and awaken.

It’s still an unfolding and it will always be.
But I finally realised this is the part of me, that I want to see growing online.
My library of stories, rituals, practices and revelations are what flows out of my practices as a memoir for anyone who wants to return to their inner sanctum too.

I am open to receive the mystical and magical revelations that water wants to move through me and I chose this visual platform as a way to experience and express my discoveries through a lens.

So my experiences and revelations are here for free, and on the other side of it I share the tools that help me in the process. Tools I relied on to make big shifts in my body and health. Things that I love using everyday.

So in light of my comeback as ancient.mosswater on instagram, I felt like writing out what led me there. I loved this reset and I love how water is being a central key in it all. There’s so much yet to be discovered.

In a world full of chaos, I see water as our remedy to cool us down.
Water can move us toward where we need to go.
It can also still us entirely so we may only hear our own heart beat and remember that this life is our miracle to have, right now.
It can dazzle us with it’s divine reflections and take us on an inner journey instantly.
It can freeze us until whats not meant for us can die off.
It can transport us through time and space.
Water is magical.
And yet I still don’t know anything about it.

I am just tiptoeing myself into this vast and beautiful world of water.

All is yet to be revealed in time.

Much love,

Djaja